I Can Cooking! Volume 1: The Deliciousness that is Calamari

Hello all!

This will kick off the first of one of the new features I discussed in my "blog revival" post; in which I discuss one of my other favorite pastimes:  cooking!

Now, This may of course prompt me to change the title of my blog (especially since, you know, it's going to be more of general stuff from my life than art from now on), but I'll worry about that once I figure out if I even can change the title, lol.  So anyway, let's begin, shall we?

SO!  Calamari time.

 Calamari is one of those dishes that can make or break a cook; it's simple enough that anyone could make it, but it's also quite easy to do wrong.  There are two precise points at which it reaches a perfect doneness, either very early into the cooking cycle, or fairly late into it when the meat begins to break down and soften again.  Ever been out to eat at a restaurant and been served a plate full of chewy, rubbery or leathery pieces of calamari that lacked any real flavor outside of the breading, and was more of a chore to get through than it was worth?  Yeah, me too.  I suspect that the majority of people who purport to hate calamari have only had the unfortunate experience of gnawing through a very poorly-cooked plate of the stuff.  It's supposed to be soft, buttery, with a slight chew; just slightly firmer than imitation crab.  And though the flavor is mild, it's definitely there:  rich, slightly savory, and just the slightest hint of sea but none of the funk we often associate with seafood.  So how do we accomplish THAT?

Step 1:  the Preparation

For this, I bought just a 2-pack of squid "steak" portions, already cleaned.  Just break them down into flat "sheets," (I went on to further split them in half, resulting in 4 "tenderloins" from the one package) then score in a diagonal pattern to prevent them from curling (although, as we'll see in a bit, that doesn't always work... it doesn't affect the flavor or texture though, just limits you on applications for the finished product).  Then rinse and pat dry, and rub each side of each piece with some lemon juice (Realemon works), cover with saran wrap and let it marinate for an hour or so.

While the squid's getting nice and happy in the fridge, go ahead and start putting together the batter.  In a 1-gallon zipper bag, I combined flour (don't worry about specific amount, it just has to be "enough."  Flour is cheap anyway!), lemon pepper, more pepper, tarragon, paprika, crushed bay leaf, and just a bit of cumin and sage.  Shake to combine.

When it comes near time for cooking to begin, go ahead and start heating up some oil in a pan to around 370F.  Any vegetable oil should work.  Also, get a better thermometer than the one pictured (hey, it was the only one the store had that could even read up to these temperatures!).

Step 2:  Final Prep! 

Pat your squid steaks dry, then toss them into the bag of flour and goodliness.  Give them a good shake, and then put them in a strainer to get the excess off while you work with the other pieces.

After you've given the pieces their initial coating of flour, dredge them in an egg wash, and give them another round of shaking in the flour/seasoning mix.  This step not pictured, as it left my hands kind of a goopy mess.

 The finished, battered pieces should look like this.

 Temperature reached!

Step 3:  I belieeeve I can fryyyy~

At this point, just dunk the pieces into the oil.  As I mentioned above, I've yet to find a foolproof method for getting such large pieces to remain flat, though the spatula does help a bit.  Let them fry for a couple of minutes; they cook VERY quickly.

You know they're done when (in fresh oil, at least) the batter reaches a light goldish color.  And if some of said batter flakes off, doneness can also be determined by when the meat reaches that perfect milky opacity.
As you can see, I was only able to get one to cook without completely curling up into ridiculousness, but I'm sure my technique just needs some work.  ^^;  Presentation aside, the recipe is solid and will taste AMAZING.  Also, it'll work just fine if you want to make bite-sized pieces or rings that you don't have to worry about curling.  The curling itself is not really even a deal-breaker either; if any pieces do curl, just remember to flip them as they cook so they can get done all the way around.
Pat any excess oil off in paper towels, sprinkle with a pinch of salt, and they're done!

Step 4:  Enjoy!

 The one piece I got to lay flat made for a fine sandwich, just a bit of tartar sauce, cabbage and a slice of cheese and it's perfect!  And the curly pieces are just as good; you just have to be more creative if you want to use them in sandwich applications, lol.