SUCCESS! A good drawing!

Here is what I've accomplished as the result of my new outlook on drawing:

It is a new picture of Ares; I figured I'd draw him since he's one of the major characters in DevilSaint and I haven't drawn him in a while...

I think this one turned out pretty well. I was able to properly portray a sense of "mass" on him, which had always been difficult for me to do.

Must get back to basics art-wise

I've just realized while looking through my sketchbooks that the poses in many of my recent drawings have been somewhat uninspired as compared to some of the stuff I was doing while I was doing the Trooper Blaze comic series.

Granted, the stuff that I show to everyone here may be okay in terms of the poses, proportions and such, but to be completely honest I only post on here maybe 1/3 of the finished pictures I produce, and for every picture I finish there are at least 10-20 that never get past the sketch phase.

Truth is, I'm too much of a perfectionist to really enjoy my own work that much anymore. Trooper Blaze was a comic I never really cared that much about since it was such a short story (spanning only a few weeks rather than years like DevilSaint). However, the lack of concern for how it turned out meant that I was also more willing to be "looser" with the way I drew everything in that one. The less I stressed over the end result of each drawing, the better it would turn out. I was experimenting a lot more, and this often led to unexpectedly good results.

I suppose the fact that I was allowing myself the luxury of enjoying the artistic process ultimately showed through in the finished pictures.

My current way of thinking as an illustrator is that I'm trying to create drawings which would look best as covers, profiles, or standalone images; rather than the really dynamic stuff which really pops on a comic page. If I could figure out a healthy balance of loose planning and sketching, with precise detailing and finishing, then I have the potential to consistently create truly good art.

I suspect that my current mental inflexibility may in fact be due to the nature of the jobs I've held over the past few years, and the loss of one of the most supportive artistic influences in my life... though it seems selfish of me to put such blame on events in the world around me, it is rather the impact they have had on me which I am pointing to as merely a factor, not the entire cause. I'm not quite that selfish...


I believe that I must rediscover the fun of drawing again... but this would probably benefit from being more inspired in real life as well. Working in an office for so long has really killed my creativity.

Art Trade!

Hey all!

Another art trade has been completed, this time with Canadian comic artist Brian Dinnigan. He did an anime-cel style digital painting of my character Nepeta Capra, and I did a drawing of his character Mindy Taylor.

Here are the results:

Nepeta:

Mindy:

This was a very fun project, and I was able to learn a lot from it.

YAAAAY 100th post!

My favorite word would have to be "booger," simply because it makes little sense. Plus, it is one of the few which sounds strange even without repetition.

The ending "er" denotes one that performs the action suggested in the main part of the word, and yet... how does one boog? And, if the verb "to boog" means to attach oneself to the inner surface of a mucuous membrane, then truly there must be very few things which are capable of booging.

And so one may conclude that that which boogs is really quite rare, thus why we never hear the word used in its verb form.

On art requests

Haha. >:

As an artist, I am always looking for new projects and ways to stretch my "creative muscles," as it were. However, there are just a few things that have always sort of bothered me about the most common types of requests I get....

1: Cutesy stuff.
When you review my portfolio and see that 99% of the things that I draw are armored warriors, soldiers, machinery, and abstract conceptual works; please do no task me to draw things that are the polar opposite of the things I do. I'm not going to draw Disney characters, nor am I going to draw drama masks or ballerina shoes (these are all requests I've gotten in the past week). Just no. Simply because I can draw, don't assume that I will be willing to draw everything.

2: Working for free.
While I do regularly create art for fun, it is usually practice or groundwork for the greater goal of what I eventually want to be able to sell in my own series. As a professional, I do this for a business. As most people should understand, the main rule of business is that people do not do something for nothing. Not to be a dick or anything, but it's just good business to offer something in return for services given, such as money or trade of equal value.

3: Design works which must be based on existing things, and in absolutely correct detail.
This one makes me a hypocrite in regards to #2. There was an art trade a while back with one of my friends, for which my part was to be a drafted design sketch for a certain heavily detailed giant mech for the purpose of having a sculpt made out of it. Well... the design was very obscure and lacking in resources, and plus the original animation tended to be very inconsistent in terms of the proportions and panel placement. Needless to say, since the original source material had no reliable depiction of the machine, I was unable to produce any satisfactory schematic from it.
Hey Kyle, if you're reading this, let me know if there's something else you want instead... I really hate to leave an art trade unfulfilled, as it makes me an ingrateful douchebag. :P

I'll post more as I think of them...

What am I doing, anyway?

Over the course of the past few days, I've been pondering a lot about my present situation, how much time I spend on my computer, the state that my apartment is in, etc.... Plus, some of the conversations I've had with a few of the people I know online have made me realize just how much of my own life I have been missing out on.

I'm at an age now where most people are starting families and living fulfilling lives with those they love... However, the last time I was in a somewhat fulfilling relationship was about four years ago. She was in a position of having to decide between me and her ex, and he won out in the end. Ever since then, I have not really even cared about love or real emotional intimacy; I keep telling myself in the back of my mind that I want something more fulfilling with my life and yet I still end up in so many meaningless relationships which only exist out of base physical attraction, or a mutual boredom. If we don't call each other a month, or sometimes even days later, it's all the same, as we are no worse off than before the chance encounter. It has gotten to such a point now that I cannot even muster up the emotion to let myself become attached to anyone in the real world since I simply cannot deal with the consequences of things should they become serious.

That, of course, leads directly to the next thing that is on my mind: I find it far easier to confide and show interest in someone online whom I have little to no chance to meet in the real world, than to say the things which need to be said to those who are directly involved in my life. Even when, in the deepest part of my soul, I truly believe in the things I say through the distance of the internet; I can't help but wonder if I would be able to express those very same feelings in person. I foolishly reassure myself that if it's through the indirect interaction of the internet, then the person on the other end will likely only receive the sentiment as being nothing more than words on the screen, and feelings cannot be hurt that way. I am such a fucking coward.

But then, the "emotional freedom" the internet provides isn't the only thing to blame for my detachment to everything and everyone. I have always been a quiet, soft-spoken individual who, given the choice, would far rather be not noticed at all than noticed in a negative light. I have always calculated my every word, made my every decision in such a way that my intentions cannot possibly be misunderstood... and yet, by making my choices through logic rather than feelings, I have ended up isolating myself from the rest of the world around me in such a way that is nearly impossible to repair so long as I remain around those who know only of the side of me they have been presented with for so long. Adding to all of that the fact that I live by myself in an apartment with no direct neighbor (the apartment next door is empty, and mine is above a garage which is used only for storage), and one may get an idea of just how lonely this way of living is.

The worst part of all of this is that I know exactly the things which are wrong with me, but I have no idea how to go about fixing them without some kind of direct guidance. It has been several years since I actually knew someone who was willing to give so much effort toward trying to make me a better person... and I managed to screw up that relationship horribly.... and I have doubts that I will ever be able to find another woman who would be willing to put up with my crap long enough to teach me how to truly love someone again. I suppose it's merely human nature to keep making the same mistakes.

I'm sick of being such an asshole.

recently finished commission

I just realized that I had forgotten to post here a recent commission I had finished...

It is a request for Sarah, the daughter of one of my co-workers. She's really into comics and fantasy stuff, and wanted to be drawn as a comic character in a sort of warrior armor. Working with her father Bill on the creative process, this was what I eventually came up with; she seems to have liked it. I took a different approach to the styling of features from how I normally draw characters... particularly on the face. I'm not so accustomed to drawing people from real life as comic characters unless I've known them for a while and can present things about their personality in a manner other than just base physical appearance.... as such, I think could have done more as far as expressiveness goes.